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FLORIDUH Man Accused Of Assaulting Boyfriend with Big Mouth Billy Bass

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FLORIDUH Man Accused Of Assaulting Boyfriend with Big Mouth Billy Bass

Big Mouth Billy Bass, the novelty gift that just keeps giving and can double as a weapon (via Wikimedia.org)

SEBASTIAN — All couples fight, and in particularly heated exchanges, it’s not uncommon for the police to be called. Some of those calls, however, are decidedly stranger than others.

Sunday afternoon saw one of the stranger such calls at a home in Sebastian, where a man stands accused of battering his domestic partner of 17 years with a “Big Mouth Billy Bass” singing fish.

The victim, Larry Timmerman (who just ended his 52-year streak on earth of not being clobbered with a crooning marine animal), told police that he and his boyfriend, 54-year-old Gregory Carney, had been fighting on-and-off all day. Carney began playing with the novelty fish, an action Timmerman described in the police report as happening “just to aggravate him.”

Indeed, Timmerman was aggravated enough that—when opportunity presented itself—he grabbed the offending fish and deposited it in the trash can.

When Carney found that his beloved bass (which alternately sings both Take Me to the River and Don’t Worry, Be Happy) was missing, he knew where to turn with his accusations. Timmerman admitted to throwing the novelty item away; Carney “retrieved it and he was angry.”

Angry? He looks positively downtrodden about it (Indian River County Sheriff’s Office photo)

Thus the fish-missile. Timmerman was struck in the head “near his hair line” and came away from the assault with a cut at the point of impact; he declined medical treatment.

Per the police report, Carney “stated he did not aim for Larry and he struck him in the head on accident.”

Nonetheless, the freshwater fish enthusiast was taken into custody on a charge of domestic battery and transported to the county jail. Currently free on $500 bond, he is due for arraignment on May 15th.

Police may or may not have confiscated Carney’s improvised weapon. It may be that they simply had bigger fish to fry …

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