ST. PETERSBURG — Most legal jurisdictions have some version of “assault with a deadly weapon,” though thanks to the actions of one innovative offender, Florida may have to institute “assault with a deadly chicken.”
Juwan Brown, 23, of St. Petersburg was taken into custody by sheriff’s deputies last week for assault on his girlfriend, the most noteworthy feature of which was his throwing “a piece of chicken at the victim, striking her in the left side of her face and glasses” per the associated police report.
The couple were in the midst of an argument when Brown—who stands 6’2” tall and tips scales at 220 pounds—purposely stepped on his girlfriend’s foot. (The alleged fried chicken attack was merely his closing salvo.)
Brown’s arrest was for domestic battery, and it wasn’t his first. Indeed, it wasn’t even his first with this victim! In 2015, our intrepid propeller of poultry was arrested for assaulting the same woman; she was pregnant in that instance.
Legal ripples of the 2015 assault followed Brown all the way through last year. Initially, he pled no contest to the charges, but violated the terms of his release before the trial by contacting the victim despite being ordered not to. Brown also failed to attend the counseling sessions and pay the fines ordered by the court, ultimately landing him in court again.
History continues to repeat itself in the matter, as Brown has again been released from jail (this time on a $5,000 bond) and has again been ordered by the court to have no contact with his girlfriend. Whether he’s able to adhere to that restriction this time around remains to be seen.
If nothing else, Brown has successfully challenged the generally-accepted dogma that chickens don’t fly well.