PORT ST. LUCIE — Everyone loves chocolate chip cookies, but even Cookie Monster never punched anyone in the face over them.
Richard Hessic of Port St. Lucie, however, apparently lacks the restraint of everyone’s favorite blue muppet. Per a police report, the 31-year-old butcher by trade recently socked his girlfriend for eating their last chocolate chip cookie and was subsequently arrested.
Hessic, who stands a towering 6’4” tall, was pushed over the edge when his 34-year-old nurse girlfriend downplayed his fury over the incident, stating that she “did not want to argue over something so petty.”
Hessic’s arraignment for the domestic battery charge will take place on December 28th.
Police unraveled the strange series of events after responding to a 911 call and speaking to the couple. According to police, Hessic “was upset someone at the last chocolate chip cookie” and followed his girlfriend into the bathroom in a huff after concluding that she was “blowing him off.”
Hessic’s girlfriend had cast the incident into a silly light, suggesting they should try “reviewing the surveillance cameras to see who ate the cookie,” and adding that she would simply purchase more in any event.
Provoked by the first part of her response and unsatisfied with the second, Hassic tore down the curtain while his girlfriend was showering and “punched her on the left side of her face.”
The bizarre episode has had serious consequences, as a judge ordered Hessic to have no further contact with his girlfriend (who lived with him, and presumably does not any longer) and placed the man on monitored house arrest.
As one might expect from someone willing to leap to fisticuffs over a cookie, this isn’t Hessic’s first run-in with law enforcement. He has been arrested for battery in the past, and also for driving with an invalid license, violating probation and child abuse.
At least Cookie Monster learns to curb his appetite by the end of each episode.