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FLORIDUH Man Stabs Friend for Taking Slice of Pizza!

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FLORIDUH Man Stabs Friend for Taking Slice of Pizza!

pizza

Pizza IS freaking delicious (via Wikimedia Commons)

MELBOURNE — We’ve all become—pardon the pun—a little cheesed over someone taking the last slice of pizza, but a Melbourne man went further than most in registering his aggravation on Monday.

Drew Cywinski, 25, broke a golf club over the head of a friend and fellow drug enthusiast for helping himself to a piece of pizza at Cywinski’s home on Garfield Street, following up that initial attack with multiple slashes to the chest from a 5-inch knife.

The pair were far chummier earlier the day, meeting up at Cywinski’s residence to smoke a synthetic marijuana known as K2 together. The friend left, but not before making plans to return later.

True to his word, Cywinski’s pal came back, and after hanging out on the back porch for a bit, headed inside and took a bite of the now-infamous slice of pizza.

Cywinski informed his friend that the pizza was his, and the two began to argue. The police report said that they were “at odds over recreational drug use,” so perhaps the “pizza” incident was merely the catalyst that got another ball rolling.

Drew Cywinski

Drew Cywinski’s smiling like he thinks that pizza thief had it coming! (Brevard County Jail photo)

The friend collected his backpack and bicycle and attempted to leave, at which point the attack commenced.

“I’m gonna kill you,” Cywinski declared, according to cops, charging his drug-buddy from over forty feet away.

The friend did manage to put up a little bit of a fight; after getting clobbered by the golf club, he improvised a weapon of his own—a metal mop handle—and hit Cywinski in the arm.

A noble effort, to be sure, but not enough to stop the ensuing knife-flurry, as Cywinski proceed to “carelessly swing” the blade at his former friend, slashing up his chest, according to police.

For his troubles, Cywinski landed himself in Brevard County Jail to cool his heels on a $20,000 bond.

Something tells me that pizza isn’t on the menu.

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