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FLORIDUH — Woman Arrested for Assault with Pork Fried Rice


FLORIDUH — Woman Arrested for Assault with Pork Fried Rice

Floriduh Samantha Wilson pork fried rice

A pork fried rice fight put Samantha Wilson in the slammer (Indian River County Jail photo)

VERO BEACH — The China No. 1 restaurant played host to an only-in-Floriduh altercation on this week as police responded to a disturbance and found a man “covered from head to toe in pork fried rice and a red sauce.”

The victim, 31-year-old Brian Kusmer, was meeting his ex-girlfriend, 30-year-old Floriduh woman Samantha Wilson, at the restaurant to pick up their 8-year-old son. Kusmer shares custody with Wilson, who was dropping the boy off in accordance with their arrangement.

What could possibly go wrong?

Upon Wilson’s arrival at the Vero Beach Chinese restaurant, she and Kusmer argued over Wilson’s many instances of keeping their son out of school, according to the police report filed by deputy James Barkwell and the account of a witness, Marie Knowles.

Wilson—who, according to Knowles, already looked angry on her approach to the restaurant, began screaming at Kusner in response to his accusations.

When Kusmer asked her to leave, she responded instead by hurling a plate of food at him, striking his upper body and left shoulder and leaving him drenched in hot sauce that, by Kusmer’s own admission, “burned a little.”

The use of the improvised weapon cost Wilson.

Police arrested her at the scene for domestic battery. She defended herself to the cops, asserting that she “never physically touched Kusmer she only threw the food at him.”

A Floriduh defense, if we ever heard one!

One wonders how Wilson determined throwing food was permissible as long as there was no direct, person-to-person contact with her victim. Nonetheless, the charge is a mere misdemeanor, and Wilson has already been released from jail on her own recognizance.

This is not Wilson’s first brush with the law. She has previously been arrested for criminal mischief, negligence, child abuse and theft.

In the future, Kusmer would be well-advised to steer clear of the cashew chicken when meeting his ex; that one could cost him an eye!

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