SEMINOLE — When you live in a state where the average age is OLD, there are bound to be some crimes amongst the elderly that just make you cringe, like this one from Pinellas County.
According to an arrest affidavit, newly minted senior citizen 61-year-old Kerry Lee Pineiro was arrested and charged with domestic battery after she allegedly beat up her senior citizen husband and kneed him in the groin twice because he didn’t want to have sex with her.
Bet he wants to bang her even less now!
According to cops, Seminole resident Pineiro got drunk and so mad yesterday when her hubby refused her amorous advances that she punched him in the face. Then she wanted to grab her keys and drive away, and, well the police report tells the story best:
“She kneed him in the groin. The defendant was swinging her arms around attempting to strike him, so the victim held her arms to prevent her from hitting him again. The defendant kneed him in the groin a second time and kneed him a third time in the left thigh. When I asked the defendant what happened, she stated she had ‘zero story’ and whatever he says it what happened.”
Two things we don’t ever like to hear: old folks trying to use cool language like “zero story” and old folks abusing other old folks about anything having to do with sex.
Because, here at Gossip Extra, we are totally against abuse. We’re against spousal abuse, domestic abuse, elder abuse, alcohol abuse. All of it, especially when they’re all mixed together like this.
We’re also really against the tourism board catching on that for all the sunshine in the sunshine state, there are also lots of old people here who just want to get banged and may resort to violence if thwarted.
That knowledge can’t be good for tourism!
UPDATE: Frank Concolino called us and said the entire incident was overblown and the police got it wrong in their report. “I’m a well-to-do person,” he said.